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post #1 of 343 (permalink) Old 10-06-2009, 09:28 AM Thread Starter
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Just for laughs

A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.
The cop asks- "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out... "I'll be damned ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"




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post #2 of 343 (permalink) Old 10-06-2009, 09:42 AM
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pretty good
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post #3 of 343 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 08:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sandchris View Post
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.
The cop asks- "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out... "I'll be damned ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"

My My ..LOL

A halloween joke

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!"


"IMPOSSIBLE !" said the groom broom.


Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt! ! ! ! ! !




"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"

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post #4 of 343 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 10:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GOPAPA View Post
My My ..LOL

A halloween joke

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!"


"IMPOSSIBLE !" said the groom broom.


Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt! ! ! ! ! !




"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
Ha, ha, ha!! They're both good!!

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post #5 of 343 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 11:26 AM
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post #6 of 343 (permalink) Old 10-29-2009, 11:06 PM
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okay ,,heres another especially if you have or had little girls ..

DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS
>
> I was packing for my business trip and my three-year-old daughter
> was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said,

> 'Daddy, look at this,' and stuck out two of her fingers.
>
> Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny
> fingers
> in
> my mouth and said, 'Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,'
> pretending to eat them.
>
> I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing
> on
> the
> bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face..
>
> I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'
>
> She replied,
> 'What happened to my booger?'

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post #7 of 343 (permalink) Old 10-30-2009, 06:44 AM Thread Starter
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A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."



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post #8 of 343 (permalink) Old 11-18-2009, 05:00 PM Thread Starter
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WARNING FOUL LANGUAGE!!!!!


A professor at the University of Mississippi was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"


She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."


It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.






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post #9 of 343 (permalink) Old 11-19-2009, 08:57 PM Thread Starter
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Sorry ladies but I gotta tell this one.

What do women and dog poop have in common?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.



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post #10 of 343 (permalink) Old 11-21-2009, 09:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sandchris View Post
Sorry ladies but I gotta tell this one.

What do women and dog poop have in common?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Oh boy sandchris ,,,LOL thats funny , but you are going to sleep alone if your married or have a girl friend for sure tonite ,,,and she sees your joke,,,so maybe I can add to yours with this and get you back in the house .. Of course I am just guessing ,but anyways,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Maybe you need to die a cowboy when you do die ,,


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