Arctic Cat Prowler Forums banner

1 - 20 of 343 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,564 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.
The cop asks- "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out... "I'll be damned ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"




Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
291 Posts
pretty good
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?"
"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carrr" the man replies.
The cop asks- "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wasss on the end of thisshh key" the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's weiner hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the man "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out... "I'll be damned ----- My girlfriend's gone, too!!!!!"

My My ..LOL

A halloween joke

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!"


"IMPOSSIBLE !" said the groom broom.


Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt! ! ! ! ! !




"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
131 Posts
My My ..LOL

A halloween joke

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!"


"IMPOSSIBLE !" said the groom broom.


Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt! ! ! ! ! !




"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
Ha, ha, ha!! They're both good!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
okay ,,heres another especially if you have or had little girls ..

DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS
>
> I was packing for my business trip and my three-year-old daughter
> was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said,

> 'Daddy, look at this,' and stuck out two of her fingers.
>
> Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny
> fingers
> in
> my mouth and said, 'Daddy's gonna eat your fingers,'
> pretending to eat them.
>
> I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing
> on
> the
> bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face..
>
> I said, 'What's wrong, honey?'
>
> She replied,
> 'What happened to my booger?'
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,564 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."



Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,564 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
WARNING FOUL LANGUAGE!!!!!


A professor at the University of Mississippi was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"


She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."


It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.






Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
Sorry ladies but I gotta tell this one.

What do women and dog poop have in common?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Oh boy sandchris ,,,LOL thats funny , but you are going to sleep alone if your married or have a girl friend for sure tonite ,,,and she sees your joke,,,so maybe I can add to yours with this and get you back in the house .. Of course I am just guessing ,but anyways,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Maybe you need to die a cowboy when you do die ,,

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
A lot of people are noticing photo ops by the President , that go something like this:








A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front
of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny
creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.

Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead
car stepped a tall, grinning man.

"Hi there, little girl, I'm President Obama. What do you have in the
basket?" he asked.

"Kittens." little Suzy said.

How old are they? asked Obama.

Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."

"And what kind of kittens are they?"

"Democrats," answered Suzy with a smile.

Obama was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his
PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.

Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president
should return the next day, and, in front of the assembled media, have
the girl talk about her discerning kittens.

So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her
basket of "FREE KITTENS" when another motorcade pulled up, this time
followed by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN.

Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Obama got out of
his limo and walked over to little Suzy..

"Hello, again," he said, "Id love it if you would tell all my friends
out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."

"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Republicans."

Taken by surprise, the president stammered, "But... but.... yesterday,
you told me they were DEMOCRATS."

Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know. But today, they have their eyes
open."







 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15 Posts
k profanity alert and sorry if you heard this one....

An old man and his son are at the doctors office. The old man is having his annual check up and the doctor braces him for bad news. "sir you have cancer and you have about a week left." Devestated the man walks out and explains whats going on with his son but he says instead of being all depressed about this "I have lived a good life and now its my time to go...lets through a party" The son agrees and decides to invite all his dads friends for a gathering at the local pub. The party was great lots of people showed but his son noticed something when asked whats wong by some of his dads friends his dad replied.."I have aids and I have about a week left" not wanting to embarrass his dad by correcting him he just let it be...Later after everyone left his son approached his dad and asked "how come you told all your buddies you have aids? You know your dying of cancer..."

He said son: "when I die I dont want nobody fuckin you mother!"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
That is a great joke GOPAPA! Keep'em coming!
All are funny ,not just mine ,but thx I guess LOL

heres one about them life saver candies


At school ......
The children began to identify the flavours by their colour:

Red......................Cherry
Yellow...................Lemon
Green..................Lime
Orange .............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled,

'Oh my God! They're ass-holes!



The teacher had to leave the room!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,564 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
No Nativity Scene in Washington this year






An early update regarding Christmas in our nation's capital for 2009.
I wanted to leak the story early so everyone fully understands.
There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington this year! The Supreme Court
has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States' Capital
this Christmas season.
This isn't for any religious reason.
They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capital.
A search for a Virgin continues.
There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.




Never pay again for live sex! | Hot girls doing naughty stuff for free! | Chat for free!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
I'm looking for Christmas jokes to send to my grand children .. I'm looking for simple little jokes like:

Q: What do you call fear of Santa?
A: Claustrophobia!

Why did the Three Wise Men smell like smoke?
cause the came from "a-far"

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?


Answer: The Christmas Alphabet has No L.


What do a cat on the beach and christmas have in common?









Sandy claws...
 
1 - 20 of 343 Posts
Top